Why I Love Metal

If there was one thing my first experience of Ramfest taught me, it is this: I really love metal!

Having recently rediscovered my fondness for all things atmospheric and experimental, my iPod has of late displayed a distressing lack of straight-up balls-to-the-wall metal. Even Converge, probably my favourite band of the past couple of years, has had to make way for my more chilled side. And the weeks leading up to Ramfest were spent more on brushing up on my knowledge of Pendulum and Rise Against rather than getting in touch with my inner-metalhead.

But as soon as Bring Me the Horizon took the stage in Durban and “Shadow Moses” went into breakdown mode, I was nothing short of possessed. With metal-horns raised and battling it out at the centre of the moshpit, I very quickly realised that there is something special about being a metalhead, something that most other people are simply unable to understand. Having had time to sit back and really think about it, here are my reasons why metals trumps all: 

1.    The adrenalin. There’s nothing quite like the adrenalin rush of a metal song. Have all the near-death experiences you want, I get my kicks from those riffs /m/

2.    Moshing. The sheer energy it takes to do this for an entire show has made me come to the conclusion that I am, in fact, inhuman.

3.    The emotion. Take your hipster bullshit elsewhere; the ending of “Jane Doe” will make you feel emotions you didn’t even know existed.   

4.    Opeth. Just because.

5.    Metal makes you friends. Like this girl I met at Ramfest wearing a Converge shirt.

6.    Hyperbole. Because every new metal album released is the best album of all time.

7.    Harsh vocals. “RAH RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH RRRRRAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”

8.    Subgenres. Ambient Cosmic Extreme Funeral Drone Doom Metal. For the win.

9.    Band names. You have the right to be as ridiculous as possible.

10.  You’re allowed to hate stuff. Anything goes.

11.  You can burn churches. Because Varg says so... although he’s also a racist and a murderer so this one’s dubious.

12.  The look. Long hair. Beards. ‘Nuff said.

13.  Your parents worry about you. This is funny until the exorcisms start.

So there you have it, thirteen quality reasons to love metal. I’m sure there are many more (and probably some good ones too) but for now you’ll just have to trust in the list. And listen to Converge. Definitely listen to Converge.